Hello––

I signed up for this forum since I'm about to start ECT, which, of course, comes with its own sphere of anxieties. The question I'd like to ask is: If you have had experience with ECT, have there been any invasive effects on your wit, creativity and/or intellect?

My situation is like this: I have been Bipolar for years, but the past three have been a steady, depressive decline, which has led to a life lived in my parents' basement at 36 years of age, bankrupt due to manic business ideas, too inept to work, not enough energy to shower more than once per 10 - 14 days, et cetera.

I am a writer who has been selected as one of three poets out of hundreds of applicants to attend a prestigious MFA program. As I am now, I will have to back out due to my debilitation. Considering 30 medications and combinations have failed me, and I'm only getting worse, I'm turning, reluctantly, to ECT. I can't help but worry, though, that it will hinder my creative capacities. Creativity is my lifeblood, and if ECT results in an ineptitude to write, I won't only have to back out of the MFA program, I will no longer be able to do all that I love: write, compose music and paint.

What do you all think? Continue my life with all of its limitations and back out of the MFA program? Or give ECT a chance and hope it will lift me enough to move forward with the MFA program?

Hope to hear from you!