You have been through so much horror & it's hard to sort out what has caused the specific problems. Of course, PTSD is extremely difficult but with good therapy & meds, it can be calmed. The rapes (happened to me as a kid/teen) are horrific & the only thing that has helped me is to feel loved by my great husband. Bipolar isn't easy but there are good meds for that, too. Many people have more than one brain condition. It's very important to get the right diagnosis. There is hope, please do not give up! Stick with us in the forum & feel free to rant or discuss Anything here. We all care about you!!