Jinnyann, don't forget it was one of her friends and the friend might have thrown in ideas/beliefs/needs of her own in the picture. I don't think anyone with any feelings at all wants to think a woman would know and do it anyway so the friend might have been protecting/projecting herself with the "your mother didn't know" instead of anything your mother said directly. But even if that were true, your mother shouldn't have kept quiet on that last important bit! If you're going to go into your daughter's business with other people at least tell the whole story!