Thanks everyone for your help, I really do appreciate it.

Trippin,
Thank you for your concern. I agree with you...both of us do actually. Neither of us are in a particularly sound position to be dating each other, but would you believe me if I said he has helped me a lot too? I used to be a lot worse.... We agree completely that our circumstances aren't making it easy on us, but I do rely on him, and when I am happy, he is the source. I'm afraid to lose that. Honestly, I don't get much other contact or conversation outside of him. My family and I aren't that close, so communication is limited, my friends and I have dwindled apart with time, and so it's usually hard for my to find comfort in anybody. despite our being apart the majority of the time, from the start he has let me know he cares about me, has always been there for me, and that's more than I can say about anyone else....Yes, I get destabilized by him sometimes, but he is also my only source of stability, and my only constant. If I lose him, I lose my happiness, my comfort, and my stability. I'm not sure I could handle that....

IceCream,
Thank you....
I've already tried to suggest taking small breaks within the week, but in those time periods I generally falter and partake in some unpleasant S.H. activities. He somewhat relies on our time together also. I realize i'm caught in a bind. No matter what I or we try to do, I hurt myself. Being with or without him doesn't change this. My quest for happiness has been a long one. I've become so impartial to everything it seems as though I'm incapable of being happy now. I'm happiest when I can just talk to someone. If you've read the above you'll see that I don't get that opportunity, and If I try, generally no one will listen. I value out time together so much because he spends him time talking with me, and not only that, listening. In a sense, he's been my therapy. He listens to my issues, talks through everything with me, consoles me, and does his best to make me feel like I matter. I haven't gone to therapy because I am terrified of it. I have a hard time opening up to people...It took me months to even muster up the courage to talk to people. I don't think I would be able to open myself in a way that is necessary for therapy to be beneficial, and I don't want to hear that there's something wrong with me. That I need more medication, That I need to work on myself. I don't see the point in paying someone to tell me what I already know, That I'm broken.

Waiting,
Thank you...I'm heaving a big sigh of relief. How were you able to talk about stuff like this with your coworker? I'm struggling to bring it up with him. It's a sensitive subject obviously, and not being an expert on the subject, I'm afraid I'll overstep my boundaries.