Thank you, it is extremely helpful actually.

I'll need to build up the courage, but I've got just over a week till his next visit to figure it out. This may be a slightly naive question, but would you consider him to be a transvestite? I guess I'm not sure how to categorize this interest of his, and I definitely don't think I could bring myself to ask, or that he could bring himself to answer.

I also would like to thank you for your concern. It really does mean a lot to me. You're right to say right now my happiness does depend on him. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I suppose I get a small level of satisfaction out of reading or playing violin, but lately I tire easily of them. I still prefer human contact over my own company. I'll continue the search for new things, although I'm realizing I'm pretty picky.

As for going to therapy, I'm going to struggle with this idea. My boyfriend would be the first to tell you conversing with me is far from easy, I tend to avoid talking about myself all together and coaxing more than a sentence out of me can sometimes take hours. Beyond the idea of having to open up for therapy, I don't know what it could do for me. If the answer is listening, I can't see much of a benefit. I don't understand how me relaying my issues to a professional could possibly help me. I'm open to the idea of discussing therapy, but at this point in time, I don't think I could make the visit. I don't even know what I would say.