First, only your bf could catagorize himself, if he felt it appropriate, as I'm sure you know but as far as is he a transvestite? Not necessarily. In the case of my friend, he only wore womens clothing when he went dancing...didn't particularly care to wear it before or during sex...it was the lead up to a romantic liason that turned him on. There are some men (and women, btw) who wear the opposite genders underclothing beneath traditional garb on a daily basis, but wouldn't enjoy wearing dresses/suit-clothes at other times. I guess it's up to the person, as far as why and when they wear them. Remember tho, you're not trying to find a label for him (even if perhaps in the back of your mind it might be easier to understand if you could) when you talk to him...you're just working out what would be fun for both of you, sensual, exciting...that's it. If in his case, if its wearing womens clothes or underwear, once that topic is on the table you can ask if there is something you can do to make his experience (and yours more enjoyable). Like I said, just have fun with it; if you're comfortable, so he will be.

I totally get the human contact over other things...I live alone and while I don't mind and mostly prefer it, there are times when I miss people (even tho I see them all day long at work--not the same thing) but then I have chat room clients and of course PC to turn to. For me that's enough, but of course I recognize what's good for me may not be for others. No matter what you choose to do, just...again, have fun with it, don't pressure yourself to excel at what you choose....it's meant only to broaden your spectrum and possibly give you and your bf something else to discuss and enjoy together when you get together again.

As far as therapy, I'm so happy you are going to consider it. I know it's difficult and it's scary....but I have to again say that you'd never be expected in the first session to do or say anything that's going to take you out of your comfort zone. The help you get from a therapist is the ability of that person to guide you to where you need to be in your life: stronger, less dependant but yet able to appreciate your bf (as an example) for who he is rather than only what he does to keep you feeling safe, and in that way, you become a better person, a better gf and a much more positive partner. Please remember, they are trained...have experiences that you haven't had, that they can share, ways to help you feel more calm, more motivated and far less fearful. And btw...medication shouldn't be a terror for you either. Again, the first session should be about getting to know the T, and letting them get to know you.

And also, yes, it's harrrrrrd to talk the first time....it was for me. I respect your worry, but as has been mentioned on this site from members far more eloquent than I am...if you can't say it....you CAN write it. You are very gifted in explaining how you feel, what you fear, and what you hope. If you can't say these things aloud to a therapist, write them down, and give these notes to him/her. They will appreciate, trust me. And it will give them a huge lever in understanding how best to help you.

Be well, and message me anytime