I'm very glad to learn you're not in crisis. I'm beginning to think that a lot of people have depression long before they are diagnosed. I'm sorry that you have struggled with it for so many years. I'm not sure how long I had it before I was diagnosed, maybe a year. It's hard to know because, as you wrote, it's just the way he/she is or I am. And it can come on gradually. Take care. I wish you well.