I wondered why I felt so alone today when I had so many interactions with people.

I went grocery shopping today because I need food to live, and had some chit-chat with other customers there. Beans are so good for you to eat, it's so muggy standing near the exit, sorry my kid nearly tripped you, etc. I was in my head a lot and had to reassure people I wasn't pissed off at them, because I would hate for them to think this distance is their fault and flaw.

Baristas tend to remember me. I tend to remember them. Sometimes I'm "accidentally" given a free medium instead of a small.

I have friends, if not many, and mostly positive interactions with people around town, but I feel miles away from them emotionally. I don't feel like I'm really part of the world around me, if that makes sense.

At the end of the day, many of them go home to people who understand and are similar to them. Many of them live lifestyles and have interests that others approve of and can relate to, and have little to no trouble finding people they mesh well with. Few of them are confused about something so fundamental as their gender.

We live completely different lives.