Realizing I had the same illness my bat **** crazy abusive grandmother has.
Quite a blow. I resisted DX #1 vehemently and shrugged it off for another 6 years until someone close to me saw me crumble under the weight of a mixed state and advised I go in. He is wise, and other people often see it before I do, so instead of doing that stupid thing I always obsess about during mixed states, I found a good shrink and went in. It took time to open up to him, and sadly, I lost the insurance that covered him, but he cemented the diagnosis and the next two shrinks have followed his initial plan. Hopefully they'll soon follow the second part which was CHANGE MY MEDS FROM THE INITIAL TRIAL. If not, I guess I stay nuts. I forgot what this thread was about and I'm sorry if I hijacked it.

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