I think I relate to that. I'm probably wrong here, but I think that might be somewhere in the dissociative disorder category... around that area, perhaps. Back when I was off my trolly, few cards short of a deck, few bubbles in my think tank, elevator wasn't going to the top floor, ... lol and so on. xD ...so yeh, back then, I definitely felt like I was struggling to connect, ... in-fact, I still feel a bit like that, sometimes, but back then it almost sometimes felt like a trance.

It sounds like you lack the feeling of being understood, ... I'd wager your inability to connect is because what you really want is to connect to someone who can connect to you and understand you, even just a bit! Does it help being on PC? Might just be that it would mean so much more to connect to someone like that in person, I know it would for me, but that's a challenge when you rarely go out. xD

Stay safe, Voss.