I am very angry right now, I am mad at her. But I understand that it is in my court now to make the right moves.

I do not want to write that list, I've done it 100000000 times. Believe, to reach to the point to KNOW I WANT TO get divorce was not easy, I am just very stupid and I cannot put those words out. I am very scare. I want him to be the one. He is not happy either. I know, but for some reason he loves me, who knows, maybe I am his security blanket for all I know. He's not ready to let go. He said he doesn't want to get divorce, he was home early last night. He already called me at work to wish me a good day, he asked me if we can have lunch together ( I don't remember ever having lunch with him).

I am very angry right now, I've lost all the balance I had.

gab