i had been so overwhelmed even before of having a split personality. the absolutely good person is projected outward and the absolutely evil person lingers somewhere deep into my system. the latter was so responsible for the depression that i am trying to manifest only now. i intend to release it all out so that at least i wouldn't feel that there's something bad about me.
like you, i have a real difficulty in starting a conversation, maintaining the flow, and ending it properly. it's a part of my overall illness. i'd feel awkward and find myself blank in a conversation. i would feel ashamed if i failed to tell any story or if i tell something that anyone doubts about. i get insulted when i know they don't trust me.
there are also times when i feel i am not good at almost anything. and that i deserve to be rejected because of that.