That was the plan originally. Given my situation now I'm not sure I have friends anymore. I'm so busy and my parents are so strict I don't ever get an opportunity to spend time with them, and that was four years ago. With the majority of people I know getting married and traveling around with their colleges, it appears as If they've forgotten me. I haven't talked to any friends for over a year now. I struggle to know if I should even refer to them as friends anymore.

It has been my understanding with my parents that they gave up on me a long time ago. I never fit their ideas as far as a perfect daughter is concerned. I assume this is why they had another child, who in their eyes, couldn't be more perfect. It frustrates me, that I've dedicated all 18 years of my life trying to give them something to love, yet no matter how prestigious the award, no matter how grand the concert, she will always be more to them. I do mean it when I say I do not matter, they mean it too when they make me feel like nothing.