The name to google is Gabor Maté. This is the narcissistic wound. It is the wound of early attachment and attunement. Every person living has some issue there. PTSD folk have had enough that it raised our stress levels and changed our developing brains in childhood. We were primed for PTSD. This is one explanation for why some combat vets don't get PTSD. Their childhood attachment and atrunement needs were adequately met. Mine weren't. My mother was defective and I was complicated. I got enough attachment attunement early on that my only dx is PTSD. I still have narcissistic/attachment issues. It's amazing what a psychodynamic therapist can do...or even loving supportive relationship and insight.

Don't scold yourself for being reliant upon others. Life is with people. Your current loss troubles you because it triggers the memory-feelings, or the complex, of earlier losses. Being left, saying goodbye seeing a friend off at the airport, can trigger very subtle or not so subtle wounds from earliest life.

You can't avoid all attachment because people move away or die. That's not living. That's not life.

I'm not sure anyone has a good treatment for these childhood attachment issues. What seems to happen spontaneously is if you can keep from getting flooded, which means keep your stress hormone levels balanced, the mind will work out itself. Bercelis TRE works. Working out to exhaustion works. Both flip high dopamine/low serotonin hyperarousal to low dopamine high serotonin parasympathy.

Maybe we need a companion in the form of a therapist. When The symptoms are physiological I rhink ae deserve a therapist who understands mind body connection, not just that there is one but what it is and how it works and how to coax body to calm so the mind can let go its traumas.