i've been living with a mixed episode for a couple of weeks now. This has been a very difficult time because this has been my first experience with mixed episodes. I've started referring to myself as Sybil.
The mood swings are getting better. Not as often but I found the last 2 days I was slipping into a depression. Yesterday I couldn't even get up. This morning didn't start out to well but I got myself up, went for a 4 mile walk, came home and made dinners for the next 7 days and cleaned and spoke to people that I hide from when I'm unwell especially my Dad who lives far away and worries even though he doesn't understand, I know he loves me regardless. Manic? Or maybe just a good day. I thought I should do all I could while I was up to it because the future is so unpredictable these days.
When I really become unstable I turn into this person that I don't even know and because I'm so aware now, I know that at anytime I could wake up one morning and be gone. Terrifying!!!
last week my therapist had me write out all the things that we're "me" when I'm well. She told me to put the list beside my bed and read it every night and every morning and she feels that will keep me connected. I hope she's right.