In 2008, my T explained to me that I cannot change other people. He said the only thing I CAN do is change how I allow those people to (or that person in your case) make me feel. Those words have recently come back to help me in what I refer to as a toxic relationship. I can only change how I allow people to make me feel. It's not easy!!! But that thought process has recently helped me again. My choice was to leave the emotional blackmail. It may not be how you choose to go forward but please know you CAN decide to control how your partner makes you feel.