Way back at christmastime my grandpa said "oh my! you've--i mean your DAD--has gained weight!" ever since that statement it's been downhill fast. So fast and now i can't stop. But i don't want to stop and that's what scares me the most. 25 lbs down, my BMI is like 17 yet still i can't stop...nor do i try. I want the control and i let that become my world...unfortunately my world is crashing down around me despite that control over my eating. I was supposed to go to dinner tonight (i ate nothing for 2 days so i could have a bagel tonight...) and i was going to talk to him, i NEEDED to talk to him but then he kind of...disappeared. I'm becoming so depressed these days, i'm just not myself anymore. Usually i'm so cheerful, optimistic, and outgoing but i've become an introvert. Now i shy away from socialization and i'm biting people's heads off left and right. This isn't me, oh where have i gone?!
I need help. I can hardly fight one battle at once...but these three are killing me. (anorexia, depression, and now progressing anxiety). My worst fear is that the three are playing off of one another...perhaps the anorexia keeping the anxiety "under control" but it's also fueling the depression?
I know i need help, but i can't get any..i'm alone here =[