Quote:
Originally Posted by GenCat
Basically when I told T there is a possibility of me being a lesbian, she said if I was just choosing that because it was safer to be with a woman than a man. Ive never thought about if it was "safe" or "not safe" I just thought if I can look at a woman and be sexually attracted to her, well I am probably gay. But I cant say for sure because ive never been in an intimate relationship with a woman. So maybe I am choosing safety, but how do I know its safer if ive never had sex with both male or female?  |
I find your therapist's response to be very odd. No one "chooses" who they are attracted to (they might, however, choose their behavior). I think that the appropriate response for a therapist would be to emphasize that they still accept you/don't see you any differently, and help you process your feelings.
Also, whether you feel safe or unsafe around men has nothing to do with who you are attracted to, but it might affect your behavior. It almost sounds as if she were trying to convince you that you are not a lesbian. But, I wasn't there, so I don't know how to interpret it.
You do NOT need to have slept with someone of the same gender to know you are gay/bi. No one tells heterosexual folks that they can't be sure they are straight if they are still virgins. It's like saying that people who haven't had sex are all asexual! If you speak to gay and bi folks, the majority of them KNEW they were attracted to the same (or same and opposite) genders.
There is no "test" you have to pass to be certain sexual orientation. It's about who you are attracted to (or have the potential to be attracted to -), and how you decide to label yourself.