Because i have never before in my life accepted that i have been abused. For the first time in my life... with a bit of hesitation, i can say that i have been physically, emotionally, and sexually (on an emotional level) abused. Its like this wave of realization that i've never had before. I never recognized it. First with my parents physically and emotionally... and once they stopped it was a guy who abused me more emotionally then my parents ever had, and sexually on an emotional level... which is a bit odd to explain, and still have a hard admitting that part to myself... because it was more that i was manipulated into it, i had said no... but not at the particular instance in which he had manipulated me... (if thats at all followable, lol) is that a step, then? being able to say that i was, in fact, abused? I had said it a couple times regarding the situation with my ex in the General forum... but for the first time, when talking to someone, i was able to say that i was abused. And for the first time, i've recognized that i have been abused all my life... and that almost shocks me... like i didn't know it before. i feel too normal at the present time to have been abused all my life! its so surreal. I don't feel like i've been abused.... not now at least.... im too normal to have been abused. But i can say it now... as much as i still don't feel like it could be real, i can say it. I was abused. Oh how surreal does that sound.
~Julie

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist