In the wee small hours of the morning I dreamed the first dream I've ever dreamed (that I know of) which involved me having gay sex. I'm in my 6th decade &, although I've always felt like I should have been / wanted to be female, I am biologically male & have always lived a heterosexual lifestyle. I can recall being propositioned by other men 3 times in my life. I always ran from these situations as quickly as I could get away from them.

(Writing this post is making me squirm...)

I've struggled secretly with being transgendered all of my life. (It's a long story.) I had always hoped / assumed that as I aged my trans-ness would gradually dissipate. Instead what has happened is that it has grown much worse over the past 3 or 4 years or so to the point where it, along with my major depression & anxiety, has begun to consume me. But, apparently, from what I've read, this is not unexpected in older non-transitioned MtF transsexuals.

So, anyway, I've never considered myself to be the least bit gay, only trans. But, since having this dream last night, I'm thinking wouldn't it be interesting to experience this... to be penetrated similar to the way a woman is penetrated. It would be the closest I can ever get to that experience because transition is out of the question for me. This is all making me feel weird in the "extreme-ous"!

The reality is that I'm just an old guy. I don't do anything, or go anywhere, where I would be likely to meet older gay men. So the likelihood of this dream morphing into reality is vanishingly small. But still, I can't stop thinking... wouldn't this be an experience...