So I'm in my early twenties and I have been battling depression since I was 16. I got better in the last year and was able to be taken off the depression meds. However, I have started noticing the depression coming back. Then today it hit my high point. I have sit on my couch crying for the last hour.
See my dad had a pretty bad stroke about a month ago, followed by my best friend having a still born baby a week later. Then last week my mom got really sick.
I graduated from college about a year ago and have been trying to get back into school to complete my education with a bachelors degree then law school. However I am having issues with my financial aid. I want to get out and get a job and start my life, but it seems like my life takes a back burner to everyone else. My siblings are all older and when they were my age, they had started to live their own lived. But now it seems that everything falls on me to take care of everyone. I really want to be able to have a job and live on my own and basically just start to be my own person. But my sibling and parents expect me to be the one that doesn't have a life.

So now I am feeling like my own life is hopeless. It feels like I will be stuck being the one that takes care of everyone but themselves forever. I feel like I need the oppurtunity to prove that I can live my own life. But noone will let me. I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. All I can think of is what if something were to happen to my mom. I feel so so so guilty for wanting to start my own life. (I am going back to my doctor tomorrow to talk about the reoccurence of my depression. I have also never been to the point of wanting to hurt myself. My depression is mostly just extreme sadness, guilt, anxiety, fatigue, and insomnia. Probably a few other symptoms, I just can't remember them all right now.)