Quote:
Originally Posted by The Skeezyks
Well, of course, I don't really know why you're paranoid to get help, Idiot17. I just know that, in my case, my parents in particular, & society in general, taught me that I must hide as deep in the closet as I could possibly get. Nothing was ever said overtly that I can recall. But the intent must have been clear because I learned the lesson well. Perhaps it is the same with you. This would be something t
o explore with a therapist as a first step.
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So why don't I have what it takes to take the first step to see a therapist. What am I so afraid of. And if I do gather the courage to go to a therapist maybe it's not something that would need to be explored any longer. So confused.
Today wasn't the greatest.....I had a doctors appointment to take a blood test. This was scheduled a while back since I was having trouble with my heartbeat and since I'm very young and heart trouble is in the family they wanted me to check it out due to lack of nutrients.
First off the doc saw my scars and asked me if it's from the scars from a burn I had years back. I mumbled it was when in reality it was 'fresh' scars from cutting. (The burn was intentional, another form of sh though no one realized that).
Then once he started taking blood I started trembling with the need for it go on forever. To rip my vein open and let the blood loose. Spraying all over. I was shaking for the next hours. I must be pretty good at masking my thoughts if no one asked me anything, especially as to why I was shivering and chattering. Story of my life. Though wouldn't mind if it would have a happier ending.