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Foreign_Soul · Jun 01, 2014, 11:36 PM

Thanks for your replies everyone

My fiancé and I get along extremely well, we always have and he's the only person who has ever been able to make me smile when I don't want to. I know he loves me and I love him but we both have our issues. Neither of us have ever talked to anyone about ourselves because we've never had anyone who will actually listen. We know this about each other and we're trying to change this because we're aware that if we can't learn to communicate with each other then this is never going to work, no matter how much we love each other.
I already have a psychologist who I see roughly once a fortnight and my fiancé is starting to come along about monthly as well. And he does want to come too so it's not just me making him come!

Anywho....
He knows how his friends behaviour and attitudes are making me feel, we've actually managed to talk about that. He has finally said something to one of his friends but it's not either of those who have been attacking me.

Honestly, as far as I can tell, their only issue with me is that I have severe depression, severe anxiety, and PTSD, and they honestly don't know a damn thing about mental health issues. Even the one who's medicated for depression has no clue about it. So they treat me like crap because all they see is someone who is fine one day and then absolutely terrible and depressed the next. They don't understand, or even want to, that that is how it is for me and it's not as simple as "getting over it".
And that is exactly what they think- that everything is so damn simple and I just have to get over it. Yes it affects my fiancé, but I don't know many couples where one's mental health issues don't, as some point, affect the other! They seem to think it's just me being a b**** and that I'm deliberately hurting him and they don't want to hear anything to the contrary, even when it's the truth.
They don't even have any "information"! My fiancé has showed me the messages between them because he knows how much anxiety this is causing me and he's not actually telling them anything! He might say he's feeling kinda down because I'm not doing so great but that's it! There's not even any hostility behind what he's saying to them, they're just making assumptions and then attacking me for it!

Unfortunately my fiancé is very non confrontational, especially with his friends. He thinks if he speaks up and tells them to back off that they will see it as him taking sides and that they'll then walk away, even if he explains to them that he's not taking sides in any argument but that he's simply telling them to back off and stop abusing me. Unfortunately at least one of them will take it as him choosing sides. And she's also the one I actually asked to be one of my bridesmaids.
And I guess that's why their abuse is affecting me so much- I considered at least one of these people to be a close enough friend that I asked her to be a part of our bridal party! That and they are my fiancé's only friends. If we're going to spend the rest of our lives together then it's a reasonable conclusion that we will be spending time with these people and that isn't possible if they hate me for something I am trying to get help with but which may never go away. And I don't want to be the reason he loses his friends, no matter how disgustingly rude they are to me!

In fact, the only one of his friends who doesn't treat me like crap and who I actually get along with really well is ex-army and has spent time in a psych ward because of his mental health issues, PTSD being the main one!

Ok, enough rambling at people for today.... Hopefully it all makes sense....