Getting closer to the date I start meds again. I recently started thinking about how much my Working Memory, or lack of, has held me back from reaching bigger goals. Ever since I was a kid I had a problem with recalling information and holding thoughts. I was told I have ADD, it might be nice to also hear how others in general feel about their performance in these areas, but the main question is if anybody has noticed any improvement due to specific medications? Ritalin/Focalin and Wellbutrin has very little effect on me, I actually find it hard to believe they did anything at all. I don't think I am a good candidate for stronger amphetamines, I already have an usually high metabolism and struggle with insomnia. Suggestions do not need to be ADHD specific, though It's probably the best place to start.

It is quite frustrating when I can't do simple math or spelling without the need to write things down. Process always seems to vanish repeatedly, no matter how many times I run through a scenario in my head. I usually get stuck in a loop thinking "okay heres step 1, then step 2 then step, wait, okay step 1, step 2, step 3, and to get to 4 I need to, uhh, okay step 2, step 3, d**n, step 1, step 2, ect."

I also have trouble vocalizing my thoughts, it's kind of funny saying this, but the faster I can communicate the easier words flow out. With a keyboard, I hardly have any trouble saying what I want, typing on a phone I need to pause occasionally, when I write with a pen I begin to become blank needing to stop and reread all I wrote to reorganize my thoughts. Speech is terrible at times, I know it should be the fastest means of communicating, but I believe my anxiety starts instinctively thinking about other things while I am trying to speak, effectively occupying that bit of free space I need. If i am lucky I will walk away without sounding like I was recently hit in the head with a baseball bat.

I might also mention another problematic area is verbal memory, if that is the correct term. I have no trouble understanding and remembering the concept of something I have just read but likely forget 90% or more of the words I have just read, if that makes sense. I might remember a few key words that stuck out yet nothing else. It could be a big problem if I make the final decision to attend college as it was in High School.

Is it possible common antidepressants can help improve such areas? I was on Mirtazapine and Lamotrigine with some success for depression and sleep but I do not believe there was strong improvement in my ADD symptoms. Or who knows maybe this is normal and I've yet to realize it. Id love to hear personal experiences or knowledge on this topic. Thanks for reading!