My therapist is amazing. I am actually so grateful to have found her. I was feeling miserable and blaming myself for everything that I did wrong, and she gave an objective, reasoned view point on both of us. How my ex had an attachment style that was completely wrong for me, he ran away when I needed him, and only panicked and came back when I distanced myself. I can't have that, I need security in a partner, and to know I am cared about every day. I know it'll be up and down still, but she opened my eyes up to stop feeling like it was all my fault. It's early days but I know one major thing I would need in a future relationship, and that is security and the feeling of stability. Not this inconsistent, emotionally swinging/unavailable crap. No wonder I felt so insecure, anyone would if they tried to rely on such an unreliable and unstable person. In a relationship I think it's normal to be dependent on each other, but he made me feel like I was wrong for depending on him. And no wonder I was so anxious all the time. He was completely wrong for me. I'm actually looking forward to the time I find someone who makes me feel important every day, and that I am wanted. And who I don't have to keep counting the messages because if I replied too much I would be accused of being 'needy'. Moving on from this, I can regain my sense of self again.