Moi, defensive? Avoidant? Perish the thought

Oh, I completely agree, a good support system is vital. I just think I took it a little too far -- I rely on all of these outside people essentially to be "paid friends".

It's hard to find friends. Especially when you're an adult and don't quite "fit in" with the way most people live - married with children. And it's even harder finding a romantic interest - trust me, I have a knack for finding out in short order that any woman I am even vaguely interested in is married, usually with some kind of remark like "you're a great guy, I'd date you if I weren't married." (True remark, someone I found quite fascinating said that to me about 3 weeks ago, and I had no idea she was married until she said it).

I know, this thread is going on a tangent. Bottom line, though, is that I am resolved NOT to do the same old thing, which is "take it so hard" and "feel lost". I am trying to learn "new ways of moving on" in all things, and obviously, life changes, not always the way we want, and "rolling with the punches" is a lot better than being overwhelmed.