Quote:
Originally Posted by Admadguy
She is an amazing woman and I respect her for what shes achieved, she comes from a very reputed family and is a clear heart person.
|
This^^ Stop right there and go with that. That's all taht should matter to you. Ruminate and fight your mental "block" with this. What you know is right and good about your partner!
Quote:
|
i have this mental block fueled by society that a divorcee and a non virgin is not a good idea.
|
First problem, you're allowing a stereotype to be your focus of your obsession/ruminations. You have to stop and think about how absurd the idea that those two things have any affect on the quality of partner you have. Just the same as a person could have been brought up in poverty and be wildly successful in life or remain in the clutches of poverty, a person divorced and having a sexual past does not say anything to the quality of the person you are with at all. It's all ruminations about something that is not real.
Quote:
|
I am quite open minded and it never struck me before but because i love her so much the thot of exclusivity is bothering me.
|
Another problem is right here, as you state or are in denial about this. How is one open minded at all when they are bothered by something as stereotypical as all divorced non virgins are tainted? That's where the disconnect is. Once you realize you're not open minded about it at all you can then begin to work on being that way.
Quote:
|
Is divorce and Virgnity such a big deal? Does that make her an Impure Soul?
|
Nope. Character is completely separate from those things. As I stated above. Besides she was married and married people have sex. It's a given and even if she were promiscuous before it would not necessarily say that she remained so but she's not. How much less should it affect your view of her?
Quote:
|
i have had several relationships and sexual partners in the past and Im not a virgin myself, where as she had only 1 sexual relationship which was marriage that did not last long.
|
Again, the double standard of men comes into play. Even though you don't intentionally think this way, it is, indeed a double standard. Ask yourself, why is it that you're not thinking YOU'RE impure, tainted or less than perfect as a partner but the female is? Does your having a past and married before make you less of a person? NO. Apply the same measure of judgement to others that you apply to yourself or you're always going to have trouble.