Hi lostwonder, sounds like you're looking back with fear of some of the things you've been through, whether you realized/recognized it as much at the time or not. Just try to absorb the safety of now, as much as possible, but it's good as well that you're seeing a T to work through things. And we're here if you want to share a bit on here too.
Glad today/yesterday (?) i/was better for you though.
Here if you want to talk.
Alison