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Originally Posted by zinco14532323
I am 50 and have been living with my parents for a year and a half due to severe depression. I have been away from them since I was 19 so although they knew they never really had a clue what it was like to be around me. They didn't know how to help. They would bug me all the time to get up by 11am, eat some breakfast, got for a walk etc etc. I wouldn't get up and do any of those things and I felt all the worse for not being able to do them and they were putting pressure on me. I wanted to be left alone and I was fine.
My mom emailed my pdoc to find out how to help. He advised her to take a hands off approach which they did. My pdoc understood with me that they have to run their course and bugging me to take a shower wasn't going to work and only made it worse. They have learned to be able to tell when I am getting better and then will gently encourage me to do more and then it works. Education goes a long way with parents and spouses if they are just willing to learn about it. If they read these forums for a couple of weeks they would have a pretty clear idea of what it is like for us.
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My parents are 51 ^^. But I really wonder if people without depression would understand anything that is written here. Is just... everyone express things so differently and god knows how different it actually is. Just take the threads "whats the worst thing someone has ever told you" or "what NOT to say to a depressed person"... many things there might be good information but many
many comments I feel like could have actually helped me even though they were disturbing for someone else. And honestly I feel like both threads covered up almost everything there is to say lol... I guess it all goes down to how you say it and in what context.... but that's not mentioned in the threads either..
anyway my point is that you can surely get a glimps of what hopelessness is like but people are so different I doubt it would do that good on it's own.
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Originally Posted by imtrying
I was in an excellent program and one of the things they encouraged was educating family members and significant others through family sessions and informal informational seminars. My boyfriend has experience as a psychologist and he found meeting my therapist beneficial. My two sons are in their late 20s and work in high risk professions and still I protect them. I kept them at a distance so they would not know how bad things were. This was a mistake. The eldest stopped by unannounced on a day I was so bad I was considering hospitalization. He was wonderful and I soon felt must better. However he and his brother (he ratted me out) are now extremely concerned and uncertain if they should trust what I tell them. I am fortunate that both are with women who work in the mental health field and can help them understand the illness. They are beginning to appear less anxious.
Until I read your post I had forgotten how stressful it was in the weeks preceding the breakdown. The constant pressure to perform as you had in the past. Dealing with the frustration and confusion of coworkers. I didn't know what was happening to me and even if I did I'm not sure I would have shared it with my coworkers. (I lost my job anyway.) I wish I had used your honest and direct approach with my immediate and extended family. I am now. Take care and thanks for sharing your experience.
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It's always tricky with family I gotta say... :/ And it's really difficult in a way to talk about it with others because what might be given what family members do for each other and treat each other might be completely unthinkable in other families. Actually is really weird in my family...cause I can and od hug my little brother a lot and have always done. But hugging my
big brother is like hugging a tree.
I wish you well too..
