I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I've been struggling with my sexuality for a long time so I definitely know how rough that can be but honestly i couldn't imagine being in your situation. even though i'm not surrounded by Christians I still am so ashamed of the fact that I love women. I hate that about myself. i ****ing hate it i wish i were like every other person in my damn town and just liked guys. I hate how TV shows, advertisements, movies, magazines, children's books, you name it, if there is a couple it is USUALLY a heterosexual one. I work with young children. I hate how it is presumed that a man and a woman will be together. Don't you think that is going to be confusing for that child who realizes he/she is gay later in life? i HATE that people assume i'm straight. i hate hate hate that. it's so awkward if i try to drop hints that i like women. I've heard my friends bash gays, also cutters too, but that's a whole 'nother story. They aren't homophobes, per se.... but i just feel so incredibly alienated when i'm with them. and these are my FRIENDS! well whatever. i'm in a horrible pissy mood. but i can kind of relate. hang in there.