Sorry your depression has been so persistent this time. It's good that you're seeing a therapist soon. Just take it one day at a time and don't worry about how long it takes to feel better. As long as you're taking these steps to feel better, that's good. I would guess (or at least hope) that your mom could offer you the comfort you're seeking, and that she'll be glad that you're being proactive and taking other steps to help yourself feel better, not solely relying on her. As a mom myself, I can't imagine not wanting a hug or a cuddle from one of my kids, no matter what age they are, and I would be very proud of my kids if they ever took care of themselves the way you're taking care of yourself and trying to feel better asap. Don't be too hard on yourself.