Hi, Narri, and welcome to Psych Central! Remember that we aren't experts here, but I would say you don't have what would be called OCD, but you are certainly obsessing over what to do about this relationship. Maybe on some level, because of your earlier bad relationship, you are worrying she will hurt you, and you think maybe you should leave her before it happens.

Are you able to see a therapist? I really think it would be good if you could talk to a professional counselor about the situation. That person would be able to help you get rid of the obsessional thinking and work through your feelings about the relationship.

Let's see what other folks have to say about it.