Thank you both for your valuable advice.

I know I am ruminating with double standards.

I just needed some more clarity on the fact NOT from the religious standpoint, I am not religious at all, but considering she is divorced and I am unmarried does that put me at a disadvantage?

Also is there any difference with me being with several partners sexually before and she being with this one guy married and having sex, question is marriage is no different than an intimate long term relationship right?

does the stigma about divorce still remains in the present day? does divorce mean the same thing as a broken intimate relationship?

Would appreciate if you clear my concepts and help me put this behind my back and live happily with her.

OCD is refraining me from loving her totally.