Elisabeth, this describes my experience almost exactly. I have just come through my third manic episode and have lost a lot of confidence. Confidence to trust my judgment, my feelings, decisions... my reality! But I have hope, and hope for you too. With each step we build resilience, with each episode there are more insights into the illness learned. I would encourage you to pursue your dreams and embrace the life that you have inherited in all its un-plannedness. Bipolar is never something we choose- yet it is something we can respond to. I am still mustering the courage to re-embrace the life I had before my last episode. Like you, there are regrets over things I have lost. But even more so, I am grateful for what remains. All the best, from one who knows.

Dx: Bipolar I