Not that anyone really gives a crap... but I will post this either way.

I have gone through a number of shrinks.

1) Dr C. Dr C has me locked up in the nut house for "my own saftey" against my will. Shortly after that - he found some bogus legalism to drop me as a client.

2) Dr B. Dr B was okay. I don't know if she really was the best - but it doesn't matter, because she moved 100+ miles away.

3) Dr V. Dr V was a bit of an odd duck. Wanted to electro shock on me. I was not too keen on this (because the doctors will openly admit they have no idea how electro shock actually helps anyone). Dr V took a job at Cornell.

4) Katie L. Katie was "assigned" to me. She was basically just reading from cue cards (?spelling). "okay you tried meds A, B, C, D. Time to try E". Gee not much confidence. I got a recommendation with another therapist to see Dr G.

5) Dr G. I finally found someone that I trusted. He is personable and alert to all my issues. Went the extra mile to make me feel comfortable. About 45 days after my first visit - I got a letter from his clinic - he took a new job (left to work for the VA).

6) Dr P. Dr P is awesome. I have been seeing Dr P since day one. BUT - a few months back she told me that she would no longer see me "until I get more regulated". So we agreed that I would seek other treatment before Dr P and I started up again.

.......

So, now I have to search for a new doctor. I did some research and there is not a lot to choose from (and my anxiety issues make it VERY hard to actually call to setup a new appointment). Add to the fact when you start with a new doctor - you can expect a 30-45 day wait before your first visit..... But, I chose one. And then yesterday I was talking to my DBT therapist (not a doctor - so not listed above) and she told me that the new doctor that I chose is a psychologist not a psychiatrist. So I even f___ed that up.

Now I have to start over again today. (and just to freak me out more - I have to call to cancel one appointment and then find a new person). **anxiety**

This is going to be one bad, bad, BAD day. I am really close to saying screw it.