Hi everyone, It's been a while since I have been on these forums. I have a couple of issues but the most damning of all is the immense loneliness that I have had throughout my life and the extinction of any relationships. It's not that I don't try, I do my best but nothing is ever good enough. No one wants to know me. I don't know what to do, I get very upset and angry and slip back into depression. There is nothing to look forward to. This is how my whole life has been. I keep getting up just to be knocked back down again and again. I definitely don't have any self esteem or confidence. A while back I did go out with this woman for 2 years but it was very stale and frustrating as well. We had met on a blind date and I quite liked her and I tried my best to make something of it but for the entire duration I was put on the back burner, she never once called me, there were only 2 days in the week she could see me which were a Wednesday night and a Sunday night (basically when there was nothing happening) at times she forgot we had arranged to meet up and asked to make it the next week. It was like flogging a dead horse. At one point I didn't make contact for a month just to see if she would contact me then phoned her after, she was like "Oh, where have you been, did you call me by mistake?" ???? WTF, I didn't make anything of it though I wanted to and our "relationship" continued for another year just the same as it had been until she then met someone else. So in all a complete waste of time. Lately I have been trying online dating, I know that these things mostly don't work but it is all I have at the moment. I did meet with someone and we met a few times and I thought everything was ok between us. After two weeks she told me she wouldn't be seeing me as she was getting back with her ex. then a few days later she asked me to go and see her, which I did. (the ex story is probably a big fat lie!) a day after that she didn't want to see me... ?!?!?!?? We got chatting on messenger and I asked what was wrong and she said I was too quiet and shy. So I asked what was wrong with that and she said nothing, but then why is it such an issue??? So I am asking you, what is wrong with being quiet and shy? What do women want? Why can't women be honest either? I am completely honest with everyone and don't mess anyone around. All I know from women is that I am a really nice guy but.... (and a really big but, which I don't know what it is). Why can't anyone accept me for who I am? Sorry for going on like this. By the way I am 33 years old and 33 years of loneliness.
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