Stating the obvious until you "get it" is not particularly insulting to me; I was glad enough people told me to "smile" so I could understand I was really hurting and needed to get some help. That you are functioning from fear, that is what is unhealthy; you need help so you do not have fear/phobia/anxiety over not doing things. It is not your "choice" if you are fear-driven. That's like saying it is your choice to run from the monster chasing you in your dreams instead of turning around and facing it so it goes away and you don't dream about monsters anymore. Sure, one can choose that but it does not seem like a good choice to others.