|
Jun 03, 2014, 02:27 PM
|
 |
Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
|
|
Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Surrey, SE London, UK
Posts: 1,628
|
|
 
Interesting comment: Do we do it because it ''works'', or do we do it because we don't know any other way? (hide our turmoil) I need to think here. In the beginning, some 30 odd years ago I did try to hide the depression/mania/suicidal thoughts/sadness/anger but as times gone by and because everyone in the Psych world said I was an attention seeker, I hid it because I didn't know any other way. All this did was push me into a series of suicide attempts and consequently long stays in the Psych hospital. I too have a number of different ''heads'' which I never leave home without. However, when the depression REALLY hits I can't pretend any more so I take to my bed 22 hours a day and hide. It's sad because I live with my 79 year old Dad and he's had to witness my awful mood swings, suicide attempts and I know I've put my poor family through hell. I suffer BPD but it's only recently been considered worth investing in long term talking (DBT) treatments. I've had a few good weeks lately but I feel something slipping, I'm fighting to stay ''well'' but it's not entirely in my own hands. Only tonight did I tell my old school friend about some of my issues, we've known each other for 45 years. She having some psych problems now so I confided that I cut, self harm etc, she was completely blown away ~ she ''thought'' I was such a ''together'' person and could hardly believe it!! So yes, guess I've been good at pretending to be fine!! 
|