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Jun 03, 2014, 04:37 PM
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Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Surrey, SE London, UK
Posts: 1,628
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Hello there and a very BIG  to PC which you'll find is a wonderful place to find understanding and to make loyal friends! Now I'm afraid I can't advise you what to do about this serious problem,  'cos lets face it, it's causing you a great deal of heartache and pain  However what I can say is that I totally UNDERSTAND how you are feeling and I've felt this way for over 30 plus years, I still feel this way now. I've had every ED known to man (or I should say women). Way back in the beginning I went on the first ''diet'' I ever did and I needed to as I was very overweight, I come from a family of compulsive eaters. That diet worked so well I ended up in the Psych hospital following a suicide attempt, I was anorexic. From then on I was bulimic and also binge/purge. Sometimes I became anorexic and often I'd get obese again, swinging from one to the other obsessively. For the last 2 years I've been basically restricting severely, interrupted by eating what I call ''banned'' food like chocolate. I'm also body dysmorphic, I hate what I see in the mirror, even though for now I'm not overweight (I'm not underweight either) I never gone along with the ED unit's diagnosis that I was comfort eating, tho maybe that was the case sometimes. The Psych Dr said the same, I need to find out why my eating is so out of sync. It was and is very simple..................all I want is to be THIN, end of, I wanna be THIN THIN THIN! I'm not THIN at the moment I can assure you but trying to stay on a very limited amount of food every day is soooooooooooooo difficult and draining, and energy is low. I eat no meat, eggs, no protein really except some milk. So there my friend, you really are NOT alone in your struggles with food, there's a lot of us out here. I don't know how old you are, but you do need help, please try and find some. You shouldn't be living with this horrible disorder and I'd hate to know that anyone else had to suffer ED's for the 30 plus years I have. Do come back and let us know. HUGS.
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