I am very self conscious. Not necessarily in a bad way, just aware of how (I think) other are perceiving me. Nobody really wants to hang out or work with Eeyore, so I wear the mask of 'Fun John'. It's just second nature. Plus I still have a hangover from my time in the Marine Corps where I learned how to never show any weakness or emotions at all. My folks and close friends may be able to tell when I'm 'up', but no one but my therapist and pdoc would ever know if I'm feeling 'down'.

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