Hi UM, It sounds so frustrating and disheartening to have been through that many shrinks and when you think "at last" (?) about one......they're gone or you have to start again. But there have to be good one's out there, with the "staying power" you need.
Just perseverance, perseverance, perseverance............I know it must seem like you've been doing just that forever, but it's got to be worth it when you hit on someone.
If you can just hold on tightly to the hope you felt with some of the others. You know you're capable of having/starting that sort of a relationship with someone good, its just about finding a person like that again in time.
Is there anyone in your DBT group who could recommend anyone though, even if it's a little bit of a travel, sometimes better finding someone from a recommendation than "out of the air". But if not then why settle for being at the bottom of someone's list? Could you instead ask to go at the bottom of a few peoples (plenty of people's??) lists and that way hopefully someone's going to become free a bit sooner??
And if it comes right down to it even a psychologist until you do find a shrink might be something, just a little something to fill the gap just a little??? And let's face it a good psychologist has to be better than some of the bad shrinks you've had, if you've still got someone to prescribe as well.
And, yes go for the self-care/self-nurturing as well. You may already be doing bits of that just on autopilot without even noticing or being able to appreciate it considering the way you're feeling can be so consuming (for anyone!!), but maybe if you take "timeout", plan it, focus on it, that may help just a little- hopefully some of the things in your other thread will stand out just a little as things you could give a try at???
I know it must seem like you've so much weighing on you right now though, and it must be really hard coping with everything coming at you, but just do as much as you can. And doesn't matter so much how long it takes as to do whatever. Just give yourself that space to feel a little more in control of everything going on, you are the priority in all of this.
And never be hesitant in asking for more help from anyone, we just for starters really want to help as much as we can.
And by the way, NO I didn't forget the first bit of your thread!! As to "Not that anyone really gives a crap..." Just for starters (!!) I give a crap!!! You matter!! You matter big time!!!
Alison