So, being of sound mind, well today anyway, I've made the decision to take control of my treatment.
Quick history for people who don't know.

I've lived with BP for about 20 years now. I've had it all. The med merry go round, ECT, 10 hospitalizations due to suicide attempts and dealing with lasting effects of certain medications that I won't mention because I don't want to freak people out, especially if they are taking that med and it's working for them.

I have never had a permanent pdoc. It has always been my family doc that has tried her hardest to manage me. God love her!

I had a good 6 month period of wellness. I felt physically and mentally healthier than I had ever felt. (no not mania). Then this mixed episode that I've been dealing with this last while came and smacked me upside the head, pretty darn hard. My trigger is stress in a huge way and I'm also pre-menopausal which contributed to my episode. Hormones will do it to you every time.

I had just started seeing a T in February and with my deteriorating condition was able to get me on the top of a list for a pdoc, who I have seen 3 times so far. She's great.

I should say that I am Native and this is a Native center that is providing my care. I do try and live as traditionally as I can. My T is Native however my pdoc is not. She was trained under the western model but has great respect for the traditional way.

Today the 3 of us had a meeting about my "treatment plan." My episodes are getting better. I'm not cycling hourly anymore but still most days. Today we were going to talk about medications that might be added. I'm already taking lamotrigine, a little Seroquel to sleep and Clonazepam as a PRN. More than enough medication for me. I had already made the decision that I would not be taking anything else, which I know she wanted to add on.

I'm very lucky to have such an open minded pdoc. I told her that I would continue on with what I was on but wanted to try other methods of treatment before we looked at more medication.

I already eat a crazy healthy diet, I try and walk everyday, I've started seeing a native healer that supplies me with herbs. (Chamomille and Valerian root), which helps. I've also decided to see a homeopath, primarily for acupuncture and any other suggestions they may have.

Please understand that I'm not replacing my current medication but I really feel that I need to try other avenues as well. This is a holistic approach to my care.

My pdoc supports me 100% BUT if she doesn't see any improvement than I'll have to take the medication. So we are compromising. She will continue to monitor me very closely.

Since my diagnosis I felt empowered today. I've always done what the doctor said, taken what the doctor gave without question. I'm tired of doing what I'm told and not being given the opportunity to have some say in my care.

Just because I have a MI, does not mean that I am not competent to make decisions for myself, and I've always been made to feel that I am incompetent.
I don't know if this will work, I truly hope it complements my existing treatment but the point is, I was given that choice today and a pdoc is actually supporting with it.

I'm fully aware that this of course is not a cure by all means but maybe this will be a good alternative to manage this disorder.

Anyway thought I'd share and maybe empower someone else to use their voice. It is your care and you have every right to be apart of the decision making.