One of my problems in coping with life is that I daydream too much, so I tend to miss important things, and I get yelled at for not paying attention.

The thing is, I don't want to stop daydreaming. I like daydreaming because I can't stand having to be big-stupid-failure me every second of the day. I like imagining that I can be someone else who is more capable and worthy.

I guess daydreaming is kind of a drug for me, except without the doing drug part. I want to escape the consequences of my stupid, self-serving, and irresponsible behavior. I know I shouldn't do it. I know I should live with the consequences and accept all the bad things about myself like a good loser.

I just can't stand the idea of being trapped in this loser body all the time. It feels like a punishment that I deserve for not trying harder to improve myself. But I don't want to be this person anymore and because I'm so lazy and inept, this seems like the only way I can be likable and worthy of respect.