We all start off feeling scared of self-disclosure. He is right a relationship like a thereupuetic one is strange because they know a lot about us but we don't know much about them. I suspect this is even more true for psychodynamic therapists. As for transferance, I tend to say, " I relate to you funny." I am still scared to fully explain some of my transferance to my T. I have only told her that I do it. The ability to talk about the relationship and the here and now is hard and will come in time as you continue to practice and work at it. Hang in there. It is worth it to find and try to change the patterns that are there from the past.