SweetCrusaders.
Body memories is a type of flashback. I didn't know it at the time, but that's what it exactly is. I never suffered flashbacks in the form of like a movie being played over and over again in front of my eyes or in my head. My body was the only thing that felt it. I'd freeze for no reason, and get triggered out of the blue and I never understood it until recently when I brought it up to my psychiatrist awhile ago.
I reccomend a book to you that my psychiatrist said for me to purchase and I did it's called: Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment
Author: Babette Rothschild
It is a fantastic books and deal with body memories, it has helped me out so much to better understand what my body was goung through. That's all my flashbacks ever were and still are, body memories, so I can relate to how you are feeling really well.
Here is a defination of what a body memory is.
Body Memories:-
Memories can remain stored in our bodies in sensations, feelings, and physical responses. Even if we do not know what took place, fragments of what we suffered endure. You may be assailed by un explained physical pain or arousal, fear, confusion or any other sensory aspect of the abuse. You may physically reexperience the terror, your body may clutch tight, or you may feel that you are suffocating and cannot breathe.
Often a touch, sound, smell, a certain phrase, a spoken word, a tone of a voice, a picture, a gathering, use of alcohol & drugs, a massage, or even a written word will trigger memories.
Sometimes memories come when you are feeling safe and on the other hand difficult or painful times may precede remembering.
Also memories will come when the abused child becomes a parent and their own children are at the age they were, when the abuse took place.
Not everyone will know when a memory is going to start, but a lot of us do get warnings. It could be a certain series of feelings, that might clue you in. you may have frightening dreams, sleep poorly, stomach may get tight, scared, angry, sad, fearful, and anxiety might set in. And sometimes instead you may of been subject to an environment of inappropriate boundaries, lewd looks, sexually suggestive behavior, or emotional incest.
Sometimes you feel emotionally detached, when you remember with feeling, the helplessness, terror, physical pain, and day or night mares. You may feel you are being ripped open, crushed, suffocating, and nauseous. Sexual arousal may also accompany your memories, this may horrify you, but arousal is a natural response to sexual stimulation.
The more you heal, the more you see the memories are literally stored in our bodies, and they want to get out.
You may not want memories and indeed may feel it is not worth it , but otherwise we are going to carry the memories around with us for ever!!!
Your first allegiance must be to yourself.
Deal with things when you want to and you are ready.
Honor your own strength and feelings.
Do this only for yourself.
Use grounding exercise.
Physical exercises.
Reach out and contact one other person.
Breathe and listen to comforting relaxation music. etc.........
This is the website I got it from:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0393703274.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
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<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>
<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>