I will not do this any longer. There is no reason to. No reason to fight uncontrollable feeling/thoughts. No reason to struggle with the understanding of it. Best off for all is if I just don't do it any longer.
I will just submit. I will no longer fight my stronger desires, my stronger thoughts. I will submit to it all and **** where that leads me to cuz I don't care. I don't care anymore. I had enough. I lost interest in trying to have things work out better.