Good that you and your fiance are starting to communicate better. It can be tough, with two people with depression strike depression at the same time, who is the caregiver/ caretaker when that arises, right? Needs to be some flexibility when even 50/50 is improbable and then, it becomes 40/40 with 20%tossed aside, maybe in the air,who knows, it's just not always possible to be everything to someone and vice versa.
That's where either couples counseling itself or a mutual attempt at trying to reach that type of help through experience, literature, self help comes in.

One communications style that helps is using I v. You, as means of expression. However, I will point out, careful with that, to a sensitive soul, internalizing could occur..

Having discussion in third party expressions, how past experiences shape you, what you feel, how you form valid needs, what's typically stuffed down and why, sometimes works...

One thing, about that bf you describe, cutting off venting on short notice without an initial expression of limitations (i am human, i can only handle, this many hours, due to my own stress levels...) would be nice. Yet, once it's not so combative, and tense, is when it's easier to see.
Do you journal? Helps getting those impulsive anger/ frustrated moments out, sleep on it, then revisit, then devise a way to express it, without arguing. Careful about confusing your withdrawing from arguing with withdrawal of love.

:Hug:

PS. ..tell yourself, his friends aren't worth your stress. And noone can make you feel anything without your permission. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
And,...What other people think of me, is none of my business. (Catherine the Great) (reminded myself, right there, to revisit that one quote)


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