Yes, you're right Wants, I was who I was and did the best I "could" but getting my "do-over" :-) I now see I had no "need" to be as conservative as I was, as scared; the world was NOT out to get me as I saw, it was my perception that was screwy (not ME :-) and now I know that. I didn't know that information then. So, if I knew then what I know now. . . :-) I'm not "different" I'm still who I was, still as brave and wonderful but my perceptions have changed over time because I've learned more. If I could have the benefit of what I've learned now. . . And, in a sense I do have that benefit. Now, theoretically, I "should" know it's my perception, not Me that is the problem and correct for that?