I saw LCM today in person. It was so great to see her again. It has been a really long time since I've seen her. I loved being able to see her face when we talked again and seeing the love in her eyes.

I talked to her mostly about issues concerning my sexuality and gender I guess. To do that, I had her read some of what I've posted on PC since I have a very difficult time talking about anything sexual with her. It's easier for her to read older posts I wrote without any intention of her seeing it. I didn't take the time to change "LCM" to something else. She asked what it stood for and I told her. She smiled big and said she loved it.

I miss her horribly again. She said we can meet in person again next week or the week after. Seeing her just brought back all the memories of waking up to her knocking on my door and it just reminded me how much it hurts to not be able to see her more and how desperately I want her to be my mother. Someday, she'll have an office. But I just really wish I could see her every day again. Part of me still feels like I will someday. I don't know why. Maybe it's because she treats me like a daughter so much I just feel like I'm at summer camp.

Maybe people with close relationships to their mother feel this way when they move out. I don't know. I almost cried when she left again. But I didn't actually cry so that's improvement I guess. I might of if she didn't notice my super tacky black ankle socks I was wearing with shorts and decided she needed to intervene with a sock plan. But I was really sad. I still am. Better sad, but still sad.