Strange feelings at the moment. Feeling so very calm yet constant urges to either go si or go that step further (wouldn't take much to make that extra leep).

Know it will pass (I hope)… but it’s very compelling, inviting.

Poor week all round, waiting to hear if I’m to be made redundant at work. Also starting to feel secretive… hiding from others si, seeing no point to talking to anyone (obvious exception to posting here) about how I feel… ambivalent towards seeing my Doctor.

Moral at work has obviously took a nose dive, everyone around me is pretty miserable… friend is off work with anxiety and others are insinuating she’s likely to be let go due to attendance (surprisingly worse than mine… well, that’s not quite true… I do my upmost to be at work regardless of my state of mind).

Can feel myself slipping more and more into no longer caring.